Uhmmm….

What the fuckity fuck is wrong with his face?

How unfortunate!

Lily Allen's little brother, Alfie, was spotted fugging up the Diesel 30th anniversary party held at the O2 arena in London this past weekend.

Poor chap!

[Image via WENN.]

Despite Tina Fey doing some very funny impersonations of Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin, her true feelings on the Alaska Governor are not exactly a secret.

The star from 30 Rock did a recent interview with TV Guide and revealed exactly what she thinks of Palin.

Fey says, "Election time is always good for [SNL] and this is a bonkers election. And that lady is a media star. She is a fascinating person, she's very likeable. She's fun to play, and the two bits with Amy [Poehler], that was super fun."

As for Tina playing Palin on Saturday Night Live if John McCain wins, Fey says she'll quit.

Says Fey, "We're gonna take it week by week. If she wins, I'm done. I can't do that for four years."

And, she clarifies by adding, "And by 'I'm done,' I mean I'm leaving Earth."

Ouch!

Though we know there are a lot of people out there that feel the same way!

[Image via WENN.]

The incredibly annoying Miley Cyrus played her first Brit concert on Sunday in London at BBC Radio 1's Switch Live.

She told the BBC, "I've phoned my dad and told him not to expect me home. I want to live here. I've already fallen in love with 20 guys since I've been here."

Sorry, England!

And, come rehab time, you'll love the Priory just outside of London, Miley!

[Image via WENN.]

Actor Hugh Jackman just celebrated his 40th birthday this past Sunday.

And the X-Men star couldn't have looked any hotter!

Jackman was spotted in Sydney, Australia, at Bronte Beach, shirtless, wet, and ripped.

Hugh bear was on the beach with his beard wife, Deborra-Lee Furness, and a male "friend" of his.

Bronte Beach is also where Jackman celebrated his 39th birthday.

He must like it there. And that's ok.

Because we like looking at him on the beach!

[Image by Carlos Costas via Pacific Coast News Online.]

Tobey Maguire and his paparazzi busting friends weren't the only industry people who hit up the Beverly Hills pumpkin patch!

Also spotted pumpkin hunting this weekend were Gavin Rossdale, Gwen Stefani and Kingston, Tori Spelling and her two tots and Marsha Cross plus twins.

There's nothing quite like having a nice family day out and knowing you're gonna have your picture taken!

Gwen and Gavin - when are we going to see more of little Zuma?

[Images via WENN.]

"Criminal gran gets knitting punishment
An 89-year-old grandmother who went on a tyre-wrecking spree in her street has been ordered to knit jumpers for her victims."

Damn, grannie! CLICK HERE to read the article accompanying this headline.

[Image by Judy Eddy via WENN.]

Criminal gran gets knitting punishment

An 89-year-old grandmother who went on a tyre-wrecking spree in her street has been ordered to knit jumpers for her victims.

Heidi Kohl, from western Germany, was arrested after one neighbour spotted her slashing the tyres on a car. She later confessed that she had resorted to drastic measures after becoming "fed up" with so many drivers parking in her neighbourhood.

Kohl was initially told that she would be fined for her behaviour, but authorities came up with the more unusual punishment after the woman claimed she would be unable to pay.

A spokeswoman confirmed: "When she's knitted the sweaters, then the matter will be over for us."

Kohl is believed to have wrecked 50 tyres in total. Prosecutors have said that she will not offend again as she has since been moved to a retirement home.

By the look of things, Pete Wentz had a lot of fun - a bit too much - in London on Sunday!

The dad-to-be and his band, Fall Out Boy, were performing at the BBC Switch Live event at the Hammersmith Apollo.

The event was headlined by Fall Out Boy and Disney slut Miley Cyrus, with performances also by McFly, Ne-Yo, N-Dubz, and Britain's Got Talent champ George Sampson.

But who could miss Wentz crowd surfing douche-like?

So hardcore!

Didn't crowd surfing die out in the '90s?

We bet some of the girls got some good ass grabs of Wentz. As did the boys.

And he liked it!

[Image via WENN.]

Left: Mickey Rourke at the Wrestler premiere in NY on Sunday. Right: Rourke at the premiere of Righteous Kill in September.

The 'new' hair should make your "stylist" feel ashamed.

At least the scruff draws attention away from your face!

[Images via WENN.]

CLICK HERE to read up on and donate to a very worthwhile cause.

"Breadline Africa is an internationally registered charity that seeks out partnerships of hope and growth in Africa. It seeks to connect people who are struggling to achieve the most basic living conditions with others who are more fortunate and in a position to make a difference.

Breadline Africa supports ground level African charities that are trying to help the communities around them realise their full potential. It's about offering a helping hand to the people who are dedicating their lives to smaller charitable organisations that uplift communities and help them to become self-sustainable."

We told you last week that the jet-setting Brangelina brood was planning a relocation to Berlin to join Super Dad Brad, where he's working on his latest project, Quentin Tarantino's Inglorious Bastards.

Well, now the Angie has landed and holed the flock up in a fortress-like villa on charming Wannsee Lake in Berlin. The $40,000 a month sprawling property boasts 30,000 square feet, a boat dock, a private chef, and a helicopter pad and has hosted other celebrities such as Tom Cruise and Steven Seagal.

All that the historic Berlin villa is missing is a moat, draw bridge and portcullis!

[Images via WENN.]